Time-wasting tactics

Many of us have jobs that can be boring. Those who can employ innovative methods of amusing themselves have the best chance of surviving these jobs. My friend and colleague Leslie should be commended for her abilities to kill time during her mind-numbing shift at the front desk of a quiet organic spa, a job that -- besides fielding the occasional client query about how to prepare one's pubic hair for one's first Brazilian wax -- consists almost entirely of dusting shelves, folding hand towels, and listening to the same pan flute & sitar CD on repeat for eight hours ... without internet access. Being stuck in this role is on par with being stuck in Dante's seventh circle of hell (the one where you float down a river of boiling blood and may be turned into a thorny bush that is fed on by Harpies).

Leslie improves upon her barbarous circumstances by using the day to create works of art that take product display to new levels, as seen here in a recent piece:



The Targeted Bio-Brightening Face Serum and Enlighten Skin Roll On sit side by side on a miniature wicker chair, upright and proud. Together but not touching, they are a comment on love, representing a strong partnership that will stand the test of time. Their own kind surrounded them, as bridesmaids and groomsmen would at a wedding and family members might during old age. The images and text interspersed throughout are reminiscent of the advertising and other outward influences these two will encounter during their lives and against which they must persevere. It is a beautiful demonstration of how radically overpriced skincare products can be about more than just consumerism. They can also be a rumination on the nature of relationships and time.

If you lack the artistic prowess of Leslie and do have Internet access at your boring job, may I direct you to this site, which is intended to be used as an online alarm clock. I highly suggest you instead use it to shock your colleagues by opening it on their computers when they step away and setting it to go off minutes after their expected return from the water cooler. The "Slayer Guitar" setting is a personal favorite.